10/31/2011

I was really looking forward for the last call until...

'til she added me.

It's been awhile since that "fb issues" we've had. Sa dinami-dami ba naman ng fb accounts namin, halos lahat-lahat ng pinag-aawayan namin ay dahil at galing dun. Ang fb mismo. As in FACEBOOK.


I have known her other account for 6months. 6months that I have no access to it. And it's starting to annoy me that I'm NOT a 'friend' or any part of it. I started to think. and I hate how it confuses me. What is she holding back? What is she keeping from me?  What is really the problem?  Or was it about that 'trust' thingy again? Am I not that trusted? Or is it her pride? Is it me? Or is it her?

What am I to her exactly?




Earlier June this year, I cyber-stalked. Or hacked. Or borrowed -- yeah, borrowed an account just to get access, then checked her posts. I was stunned. She's saying things 'bout me (or anyone else who's just very likely me) How pathetic am I in that line.. Got myself struck in silence and teary-eyed. I have this feeling inside me.. racing. Maybe anger, disappointment, hopelessness.. maybe remorse. Even petrified. Yet...


..yet, i can't hate her. I wouldn't do that.
I can't. I JUST can't.



Now, I'm not sure what to feel. Happy? Contented? Should I be overwhelmed after all?
I can't even take a peek or view her profile. I don't know why. Maybe I'm scared.. scared on what I'd see.


I'm not sure what I feel.. or felt. All I know is I'm hurting.. 

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