I'M A HOST OF IMPERFECTION, AND YOU SEE PAST ALL THAT

'But in your eyes I'm a Queen' —here's for giving me two wonderful years. 

Iloveyou, babe! :'x

Because I chose to be stuck in my own unknown occupancy, I never get the chance to show my truest downfalls.

FEMINISM, SEXISM, DOUBLE STANDARD, AND MISOGYNY

It is because I am disappointed, realizing that a far more kind of stereotyping, and the thought of double standard is everywhere --in every people is ever present. The idealism of what a girl IS or what a girl SHOULD BE is somehow socially expected in a manner of decency, respect, and in dignifying acts. What about being carefree? What about freedom? What about showing yourself freely with no assumption of being called as somewhat close to a "bitch," a "hoe"? People are labeling. They ask you to be yourself, and yet they misjudge you for you are. There's no winning with these people, with this society.

To quote Ariana Grande, "If a man has sex, HE'S A STUD. A BOSS. A KING. If a woman even talks about sex openly, she is shamed.
But if a man talks or raps FREELY about all the women (or more commonly used "bitches" "hoes" --how lovely!), he is regaled.
If a woman is seen with a man, there is an immediate assumption of romance or sex, and she is labeled.
If a man is seen with a woman, his status is elevated/celebrated. "AWWW SHIT HE SMASHED IT !!!!1!!"

I don't know if it's just me, but it is sad to think that people are not valued as an individual, nor their qualities as an individual doesn't make someone want them. Double standard and Misogyny.
Feminism and sexism are all over the world, I'm not surprised if you turn into something like that. And by "you," I mean all 8 billion people.

IT'S A GAHDDAMNED LIFE

and a couple of gahddamned shitty people. Jk

"Even the best fall down sometimes."
- Howie Day, Collide

Let's just take it that shit happens every day.

A-NOT-SO-CONSCIOUSLY-MADE LIST. Or NOT

I don't really know why I have this list nor what was on my mind when writing this. Hahaha [and perhaps someone may have read this before when it was still written on a scratch.] Haha most probably, I wrote this when I had too many thoughts my brain couldn't handle and wrote it down instead. Yeah, let's leave it like that.

So here it goes..
Everything that follows may play a significance, or is, and may change untimely just because it's a lay-away thought in my weird, funny old head. Haha

#1. PERFECT STRANGER
      I only know this.. no explanation needed. Haha

#2. A life with conviction.
      and start living accordingly and live by it on a daily basis.

#3. Discipline.
      I guess everyone should have. 

#4. To groan and not groan at the right things at the right moment.
       This may infer to a lot more complicated things, but I'll keep my reasons. :)

#5. IDENTITY.
      Idk 'bout this. Maybe #1 and this is somehow connected? But maybe, we all think of that "who" as we try to serve some purpose we ought to be. (Too anxious huh?)

#6. TRAVEL.

#7. READ ON! and more.

#8. Write a story/book.
       Always wanted.

#9. Enhance everything I know.

#10. To try to know every knowledge I can grip.
        Too ambitious huh? We all are. 

#11. TO STUDY, WHETHER IT'S A HE, A SHE or IT.

#12. DEDICATE MY LIFE WITH EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN.

#13. ERASE ALL THE THINGS THAT MAKE LIFE SAD.

#14. GIVE. It's the least I can do.

#15. LOVE.
        One I can consider a self-gift.

CONVICTIONS

People will always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each other’s personalities.  Who wouldn’t, right? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person.

But you know what the clever trick really is?
Can you accept the flaws? Can you look at your partner’s faults honestly and say ‘I can work around that. I can make something out of it.’ Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it’s always going to be pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you.

I watched everyone and everything around me falling apart, no matter  what they have had built for years. Now I’m losing every inch of appreciation with what’s happening around me. Everything is depreciating, proving me wrong of what I used to believe in.

My conviction says I will never marry. And a part of me says I will never be emotionally available again, for a long long time. #provemewrong

I WISH I MAY, I WISH I MIGHT

How heavenly and lucky are those who get to go home and kiss or hug the love of their lives from a loooong day: May it be your parents or your lover.

DOTS -- THEN YOU CONNECT

There are far more implications that the word "grow" houses. People grow, wants elevated, more and more essentials needed. Day by day we meet different struggles that conveys to a yet another complication.
When you're young, everything is seemingly obtainable. Then reality comes dawning, age is catching up whilst realizing the crap in your selfishly lavish decisions. You look back and wished you had the conformity and enough maturity when you had your childish dreams and juvenile out-reasoned convictions. Realizations come and wash you whole: You realize you were not meant for something and meant for another, YOU REALIZE WHAT'S MORE VALUABLE TO YOU. You lose friends and live by it the next day, and tend to keep the truest.
Life will never be fair. But thinking that life will never be fair to everyone keeps the positivity, somehow.
Have your families close so long as you can, otherwise you'd end up hating yourself more than ever.
We grow old and every thing that has passed is yet another countless seam of humor.

Your happiness does not solely depend on other people.

Kai kung magtuon ug taman, di unta mgsalig sa seatmate. -.- Hahahaha! samoka.

It's hard to fully close your eyes when your thoughts attack incessantly.

Anyway still, good night!